Of Murderous Tendencies and Obsessed Stalkers
by Lirulin
Summary: What does it take to drive Lily Evans into insanity? Can Professor McGonagall even help her? And will someone really have to die? It's Careers Advice again and you're here to witness it all! Come in and enjoy!


**Of Murderous Tendencies and Obsessed Stalkers or****: The Woes of Lily Evans**

_by Lirulin_

**Disclaimer: **Everything property of J.K.Rowling. Nothing belongs to me.

**AN:** Wow, my 5th careers advice story! I think it's safe to call it a series now. And I really have fun with them! Go read the others as well! You'll like them, I promise!

And now, applause for Lily Evans!

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Professor McGonagall glanced at her clock and frowned. Lily Evans was late for her careers advice – a highly unusual occurence for the normally so reliable and responsible student. She would never miss a mandtory meeting like this and the professor started to wonder if something could have happened. 

Minerva had seriously been looking forward to a nice, quiet, normal careers advice with a well-prepared student – she definitely needed it after the strain Sirius Black had just put her through. But it seemed that her wish was not to be fulfilled and she wondered if the students' only aim on this day was to annoy her.

She had almost resolved to go to Gryffindor Tower to see what was wrong with Miss Evans, when there was a hurried knock on the door and a harried-looking Lily Evans burst into her office.

"I'm... I'm sorry, professor."

She plopped down on the chair in front of the desk and took several deep breaths – it was evident that she had run the whole way. The professor regarded her rather sternly.

"Why are you late, Miss Evans?"

Lily now blushed and started fidgeting in her seat.

"I'm really sorry, professor. I didn't want to be late, but I was ... I was detained."

She crossed her fingers and hoped that her professor wouldn't question her further. Minerva meanwhile was anything but satisfied with this answer, but decided to let it go for now in favour of the more important job discussion.

"Well, Miss Evans, then let us start immediately. I hope you have read the leaflets in the common room and can tell me what you plan to do after leaving Hogwarts."

Lily's eyes started to gleam, this was a subject she liked talking about and had concentrated heavily on in the last few days.

"Yes, I've read all of them. It was so interesting and there were so many things that piqued my curiosity that Ì can hardly decide!"

Professor McGonagall had to smile at so much enthusiasm. It was rather refreshing.

"Perhaps there was something that struck you as especially fascinating?"

The girl frowned and chewed on her lip in concentration.

"Well, I could imagine becoming a healer. I'd like to help people."

Minerva nodded and picked up the leaflet from St. Mungos with the crossed wand and bone on it.

"A wise choice, Miss Evans. To be accepted as a trainee at St. Mungos you absolutely need an Outstanding in your Potions and Herbology NEWTs and at least an Exceeds Expectations in Transfiguration and Charms whereas they much rather see an O in those subjects as well. You also need an E in both Defence against the Dark Arts and Arithmancy and it is also recommended to continue with Runes. It sounds like a lot, but I am confident that you could manage it, Miss Evans. Your grades are very good and you will have no problem to get into the NEWT-level classes. Is there any other field you are interested in?"

Lily tried to absorb all the information while at the same time contemplating her other options.

"I'm really intrested in Charms. I think it would be fascinating to create new spells or to examine how different spells can be combined or how they are linked with each other."

Minerva was really happy with how this careers advice was turning out. If only all her students could be thus prepared and decisive!

"Another good option. You could work at the Ministry then. It is self-evident that you would need an Outstanding in Charms and Arithmancy and they require an E in Runes. You should also continue with Transfiguration, Potions, Defence against the Dark Arts and History of Magic. You would not have problems with that either. Anything else, Miss Evans?"

Lily thought about everything she had read again and was just about to bring another working field into play when she was interrupted by a high, squeaking voice coming from the region of her feet.

"_James loves Lily!"_

Professor McGonagall startled and looked at her student questioningly, eyebrow slightly raised, demanding an explanation. Said student had turned an interesting shade of purple and was muttering under her breath, steadily gaining in volume.

"I'll kill him... Now I'll definitely kill him... JAMES POTTER, YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!!"

Minerva was somewhat shocked to see her so out of control and tried to return her to normal.

"Miss Evans! Calm yourself. Shouting will not help the matter. Can you explain to me what that voice was?"

Lily had deflated by now and was slumped in her chair, head buried in her hands.

"He bewitched my socks as well! I don't believe it! That dim-witted idiot!"

Minerva conjured up another cup, poured some tea into it and pushed it over towards Lily, who took it gratefully. The professor could guess that Mr. Potter had once again gone and done something to the redhead, his infatuation with her was no secret.

"Miss Evans? The voice?"

Lily took a rather large gulp from her cup and then put it on the desk. How to explain?

"I'm sorry for the shouting, professor. The voice... well, it is connected to the reason why I was late... Potter... he... The stupid idiot charmed all my robes and shirts to sport corny sentences like '_Lily is the love of James' life' _or '_Lily's eyes are brighter than the sun'_. On one he even wrote '_James is Lily's devoted slave'_. Can you believe it? It took me forever to reverse all those spells and I still didn't manage to undo everything, he must have put sticking charms on some. So, now my favourite shirt reads '_James without Lily is like a plant without water: He'll wither and die'_ and I hope for him that this sticking charm wears of, because otherwise he will really be dead ... Sorry, professor. Anyway, he somehow must have bewitched my socks as well."

As if on cue the voice sounded again.

"_James loves Lily more than Quidditch__!"_

Lily now groaned loudly, then whipped out her wand and pointed it at her feet.

"You'll not talk any longer! _Finite Incantatem! _Do you see what I mean, professor? It's terrible! He's constantly bugging me, following me like a puppy. I don't know what to do! Just the other day he asked me again to go to Hogsmeade with him. It was like the 655th time. What part of the word 'no' does he not understand? Can you tell me? He's so infurating! Sometimes I want to take my wand and ... sorry ma'am, I know I shouldn't talk like this, it's just... Argh!!"

Professor McGonagall had let her vent her frustrations, actually feeling a bit amused – in some far away corner of her mind as she wasn't supposed to find a prank courtesy of James Potter funny.

"Miss Evans, I understand your anger. But I would still ask you not to inflict any bodily harm on Mr. Potter. I would sorely hate to have to deduct points from Gryffindor should you kill him. He loses us enough points as it is. So please restrain yourself."

Lily had to laugh at this and her fury ebbed away at her professor's dry humour.

"I promise to do so, professor. Were we finished? Because then I'd like to go to the library for a bit. It's one of the places he only follows me rarely to."

Minerva regarded her with a twinkle in her eyes, then nodded slightly.

"Yes, you may go, Miss Evans. I think your career choices are very well thought-out and I am convinced that you would excel in either."

Lily blushed a bit due to this praise.

"Thank you, Professor McGonagall. Good bye."

With that she left the room and closed the door softly behind herself.

Minerva shook her head while she took out some biscuits a house-elf had brought her earlier. James Potter's devotion to Lily Evans was quite admirable, he was pursuing her for almost three years now and quite obviously going the wrong way about it.

Nevertheless, Minerva was convinced there was a certain attraction between those two. What did they say after all? There's a thin line between love and hate. Now, if she were a gambling person, she would bet no small amount of galleons that they would be a couple in the end...

**THE END**

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So, how was it? Poor Lily, James really has stalkerish tendencies, doesn't he? Anyway, any requests whom I should do next? I don't have any ideas, but perhaps you do. I'd like to stay in the Marauders' time though. 

So, start reviewing and till next time!


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